Your Time Is Up, My Time is Now...

So John Cena, unfortunately, went out with another major injury, this time with a herniated disc, and I believe he underwent major surgery just yesterday... and for the record, I wasn't being sarcastic when I said "unfortunately".

Cena, although hated by half the fans, is still one of the top dogs in the WWE and is one of only a handful of wrestlers who receives SOME reaction from the fans as opposed to the diddly-squat reaction an alarmingly large percentage of the roster gets from crowds. I personally am on the fence with him, leaning a little more towards liking him, but most WWE fans above age 15 absolutely despise him. Why? Well, the haters say they hate him for a number of reasons: He has the same old moves, he says the same old things, he can't wrestle, etc.

I beg to differ. His repertoire of the "same old moves" and "same old one-liners" is actually comparable to the number of moves or one-liners any other wrestler has. Yes, Cena's may not be as flashy as those of the more popular wrestlers (like Jeff Hardy, Undertaker, Triple H), but is he supposed to be? His reputation is that of a straightforward, no-nonsense brawler, isn't it?

Anyways, back to what I wanted to get at... Cena, whether you like it or not, is pushed as a face. He sells things from the WWE Shop like few others can, and just because most of those items are for the younger fans doesn't change the fact that he moves merchandise. However, even as a semi-Cena fan, I agree that his time as a face is up. They've gone nowhere(I can't stress that enough) with his character since Wrestlemania, and although he's faced the likes of Triple H and Batista since then, each rivalry lasted one or two months tops, when really, those showdowns had 3-5 months of shelf life each. The only reason they didn't last longer was because two faces were going against each other, and a face vs. face showdown rarely can last more than two months in the business. So what does the WWE need to do to fix this problem?

Turn John Cena into a heel.

I know the WWE is probably hesitant to make such a drastic move, seeing that they make oodles of money off Cena-related merchandise. But if Cena turns heel, the company really will be better off in the long-run. There will be more opportunities for longer rivalries amongst him and other top wrestlers, a better chance to market Cena to the over-15 crowd (with whom, in his previous run as a heel, was popular with), and more tasty promos are all possible with just this simple switch. And besides, the last time the WWE took a chance (CM Punk), ratings went as high as they ever were in the last year, at least for a few weeks.

So what do you say WWE? Is Cena's time as a face up, and his time as a heel now?

(go ahead, roll your eyes)

WWE Summer Homeruns and Strikeouts

WWE Homeruns

• Pushing young talent to championship-level contenders
• Edge’s soap opera-esque drama
• Everything Santino Marella did
• Batista vs. John Cena
• Pushing Divas, Michelle McCool and Mickie James, to heights we haven’t seen since Trish and Lita
• Unveiling an interesting option as RAW General Manager

WWE Strikeouts

• Triple H vs. Khali (a bit WTF)
• not allowing CM Punk to become a “legitimate” champion (just look at how he’s retained his championship every time)
• Further tarnishing the once prestigious Intercontinental Championship by relegating it to low-card status (at least until very recently)
• Pushing too many large, heel wrestlers as “monsters”
• Not giving a damn about the ECW
• On average, only allowing 32-37 minutes of wrestling per episode

Monday Night RAW Review 7/7/08: RAW of Average

Heading into Monday night I was nothing but amped about RAW, as their previous two shows were nothing but a delight to watch. The draft, which aired two weeks ago, lived up to its hype because all the right wrestlers were moved to the right places (for the most part), and created some potential mouth-watering rivalries . Last week’s episode, unexpectedly, was even better than the draft, as CM Punk relieved Edge of his title in Edge-esque fashion by cashing in his MITB briefcase when the rated R superstar was down. So after bearing witness to two classic episodes back-to-back, why shouldn’t I have expected another excellent episode; one where we saw those exciting new rivalries unfold?

Because, apparently, nobody told me that WWE creative returned from their two-week vacation just in time to muck things up (I would’ve liked to use another word there beside “muck”, but since I’m writing this from the office, I found the closest possible word).

You see, all joking aside, the last two weeks weren’t a sign of things to come, as I proclaimed in my previous column where I said the WWE “was back”… sighhhh, how naive I can sometimes be. Those two weeks were just two weeks where creative overachieved… something they tend to do a couple times each year. Now, after two of the best shows we’d seen in all of ‘08, creative returned to their normal selves followed up with this for the most recent episode:

• CM Punk vs. Snitsky…,…,… bwah?
• A segment where John Cena spraypaints “JBL is Poopy” on JBL’s limo… ugh
• Kofi Kingston vs. Charlie Haas… CHARLIE HAAS?!?

First off, CM Punk vs. Snitsky came out of nowhere. They have had nothing to do with each other, and it should have stayed that way. Other viable opponents for Punk could’ve been Paul Burchill, Chuck Palumbo, Cody Rhodes, or even Ted DiBiase Jr… you know, somebody who has at least been in the ring these last couple of weeks. The Kofi Kingston vs. Charlie Haas match was also confusing, out of the blue, and absolutely made no sense. But the segment of Cena spraypainting “JBL is Poopy” on JBL’s limo really took the shitty shitty carrot-cake. Bravo WWE creative, bravo; that was some of your finer work.

The only highlights of the night were the solid promo between Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels, Kane turning heel, and the pretty decent fatal 4-way main event that had JBL, Batista, John Cena, and Kane battle it out for the #1 contender spot (Speaking of which, the match was fun to watch, and I was glad to see Batista take the match home, as a Batista-CM Punk rivalry is something I’ve been hoping for since I saw them both get drafted to RAW) .

So there you have it-another night filled with WTF’s and ???’s. Expect the trend, for the most part, to continue. Expect the WWE to have Cena continue to make himself likable to children so that the WWE can keep churning out merchandise sales, but also expect Cena to ostracize himself from everybody else above the age of 10 aka the WWE’s TARGET FREAKING MARKET.

Expect Kofi Kingston to be placed in random, out-of-nowhere matches, and for the IC title’s once-prestigious reputation to continue to lose its luster.

Expect the WWE to rip CM Punk, the most likable, heavyweight championship-worthy wrestler to come along to RAW in a long time, away from the WWE Heavyweight Championship.

Basically, just expect nothing. That way, once WWE creative goes on another two-week vacation, we’ll be that much happier when something relevant, something fun, something that makes sense, happens. I know it’s a glass-half-empty view, but I’d be damned if it wasn’t the right one.

Like A... Vegan?

I'm a man with a sick gambling history... the WNBA, the Scripps' National Spelling Bee, competitive video games with friends, etc... I thought I had reached the anti-pinnacle of Gambler's Anonymous.

But there I was, sitting with my family inside the Potomac Mills mega-mall food court, enjoying a SPECTACULAR plate of Teriyaki Chicken/Rice from one of the many little Asian food joints inside the mall. I turn to my brother and go on and on about how this plate of chicken may have been one of the best meals I've eaten all year. Then I said that, if this were the last time I ate chicken, it would've be worth it...

My brother turned to me and told me I couldn't even go for a month without eating meat, let alone a longer period of time. My response? None other than the classic, stupid competitive gambler inside me:

Care to make it interesting?

So here I am now, in the middle of one of the biggest bets of my life: No meat. No noodle meat broth. I'm not even able to order entrees and remove the meat. One entire year... well, now only 363 more days as I write this, until the next time I take a bite out of any once-living animal. $1600 is the cash I stand to gain, but more importantly, my ever-so-important elder-brother pride and willpower are on the line too.

My brother has already began tempting me by ordering some of the most delicious meat items he possibly can, then waving them in my face (aka karma for poking fun at my vegan-mother my entire life). He fully intends to make this next year a living hell for me. And you know what? I'd probably do the same if I was on the other side.

Will I make it? Probably not, but if I can do this, I can, literally, do nearly anything I want.

XHeadlines

I was recently contacted by the webmaster of XHeadlines, a pretty popular wrestling site that not only keeps track of the latest rumors/news, but also has a few writers write up opinion columns for them. The guy asked me if I was interested in writing a column of my own for them-he had me at hello FYI-, and after emailing each other back-and-fourth regarding some questions I had, I was hired!

So now I'll be writing up some WWE-related opinion pieces for them here (check out my column, "Neil's Highlight Reel" if you'd like!) on a near-daily basis, but that does not mean I'll stop writing about the WWE here.

Atlantic City

My my my, where are my manners? Heading into last weekend, I informed you guys that I was heading off to Atlantic City for the weekend with a friend, but I failed to give you guys the results. My apologies!

The first night was, well, interesting to say the least. My friend and I got there around 11pm, as traffic was god-awful the whole way through on I-95. The motel that I made last-minute reservations for didn't exist... it really didn't. I mean, I knew the place was far from the casinos, exactly eight miles away according to the site I booked the reservations through, but when Mapquest led us away from the bright lights down into a two-lane road with no discernible sign of man, street lights, nor street SIGNS, my friend and I started discussing whether or not we should find another place. It was at that point that we starting driving by random serial-killer-looking people who were walking down the street carrying bags of god-knows-what, and we decided to book it and get back to an area where there were at least witnesses lest we be killed.

Upon our return to the Atlantic City, we stopped by the Tropicana to sneak in a few hours of poker before searching for a new place to stay. After losing about a hundred after five hours of play, I told my friend it was time to look for a motel, one that wasn't in an area where we'd fear for our lives.

So there we were, driving around AC at 5 in the morning, looking for a place to stay. We didn't bring too much money with us, so we were looking for an $80/night place. Basically, we were cheap, homeless bums in pursuit of the cheapest, grimiest motel around. Unfortunately though, every place we stopped by not only was charging some absurd amount, but they were charging us said absurd amounts with the stipulation that we'd have to check out by 11am since, after all, the hotels had obviously conspired against us.

Anyways, about an hour into our search, we lucked into a $75/night place six miles away from the city (called Sunny Side Motel if you're curious). The area this place was located wasn't exactly a place you'd feel too safe staying, but then again, it wasn't like the psycho-infested area our other motel supposedly was around either. Luckily the room came with a mini-fridge on wheels, and right before we went to sleep, I pushed the fridge and a mini table up against the door so that I'd sleep comfortably.

We snoozed into the wee hours of the afternoon, and after a quick bite to eat, hit up the tables at Borgata. I proceeded to break exactly even after a four-hour session despite losing a $200 runner-runner, I-can't-believe-he-called-me-down kind of pot. We grabbed some dinner at the food court by the poker room, and after discussing some strategy, were ready to play another multi-hour session. Too bad my friend dropped most of what he had left over and asked if I was ready to leave, because I was ready to sit there well into the night (but of course I said yes to him).

So, overall, I lost a little bit, but nothing to complain about. I think that, besides two key hands where I wasn't aggressive enough, I played pretty optimal poker (I may go into further detail with those hands later). I was hoping to be back in AC the weekend of July 18th, a weekend my friends and I have planned on going for a while, but a cousin of mine, who is getting married on the 25th, is having some pre-wedding ceremonial crap that she guilt-tripped me into attending. I fucking hate weddings.

CM Punk Wins the Title plus a RAW review

So good ol' JR made his way to the ring to open RAW. He got on the mic and said how much, over his years on RAW, he had enjoyed his time. He said he hoped the RAW fans would follow him over to Smackdown on Friday nights and enjoy listening to him and his new partner, Mick Foley. Edge's music then interrupted JR mid-sentence, and out he came along with the Edge-Heads.

Edge grabbed a mic and told JR that his arrogance never failed to amaze him, as he believed that nobody cared about JR leaving RAW. Edge said that JR could truly validate his Hall-of-Fame career by coming to Smackdown and calling a future Hall-of-Famer's (his own) matches. He said that, instead of the usual "Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Stone Cold!" phrase JR used to utter, he'd now be yelling "Edge Wins! Edge Wins! Edge Wins!" instead. He then asked JR to try it out right then, but JR refused and threw his mic down. Edge told his two sidekicks, Hawkins and Ryder, to escort JR out of the ring, and they did just that.

Once those three had left, Edge began speaking directly to the fans. He said that, now that JR was out of there, he had no reason to remain there. He poked fun at RAW by pointing out they had no General Manager, let alone a champion. This went on for just a little while longer, and he exited the ring.

As he exited holding up his Smackdown Heavyweight Championship Belt, Batista's music hit and out came the Animal, who was obviously angry the way Edge cheated him out of the title the night before at Night of Champions. He chased Edge and eventually caught him. The fans went crazy as Batista really layed into Edge with haymakers left and right. Batista then got Edge in the ring and Batista-bombed him.

Batista was making his exit up the ramp, and I was thinking that the segment was over, since it was already 9:20 and we had hit no commercial break... how wrong I was.

CM Punk's music then blared out the speakers, and he immediately made a bee-line for Edge with his MITB briefcase in hand, who was laying in the ring because of Batista's beat down. The crowd obviously sensed what was going on, and the crowd got even louder than before. Punk got in the ring, told a referee that he was cashing in his briefcase, and proceeded to give Edge his trademark finisher, the 'Go To Sleep'. Moments later, to the surprise of WWE fans across the world, there was CM Punk, holding the Smackdown championship up in the air as he stood on the turnbuckle. The crowd was in a frenzy, and at that moment, I realized the WWE was back.

After a Divas match, where Mickie James defeated Jillian Hall, Rey Mysterio came out the following segment to speak to the crowd. He said things were weird for him, because although he was excited to be on RAW, it was strange to be away from Smackdown, where his entire life and career unfolded.

Santino Marella, one of the best promo guys in the business, then came out and proceeded to diss Mysterio. Mysterio was about to respond, but Marella told him to shut his face. He continued and, after bringing up Mysterio's recent WWE magazine cover pic on the titantron, said that he didn't get what all the Mysterio hype was all about. Mocking Mysterio, he said "Look at me. I'm Mysterio. I'm more tall than Hornswaggle. I like cookies. BOOYAKA! BOOYAKA!" Marella said he wished he gave the WWE one of his own pictures to put on the magazine instead, and then, on the titantron, showed a picture of himself in just in underwear, holding a rose. He said that, if this was a poster, everybody in the world, even men, would buy it and put it up on their bedroom ceiling. Marella then got back on topic, and said Mysterio hadn't yet been on RAW because he didn't deserve to, as the show was used for true rising stars. He said that if Mysterio didn't mind his own business, he wouldn't have a good time here. (By the way, if it isn't coming across here, I should probably tell you that this was an excellent promo)

Mysterio was finally given the opportunity to speak, but he let his actions speak louder than his words. He took his mic and whacked it across Marella's head, then 619'ed him.

In the next segment, CM Punk was backstage with Tod Grisham, and his World Heavyweight Championship was draped over his shoulder. Grisham gave his congrats to Punk, and Punk said that he was speechless. He said he had so many people to thank, including Batista for that assist, and then said that he was feeling awesome. CM Punk's face then went a little sour, and once the camera zooms out, we see that it's because JBL was standing across him.

JBL gave a demeaning shrug, sort of like an "I can't believe you're the fucking champion" kinda shrug, and said Punk shouldn't be proud that he beat up a helpless person to win the title. Punk said that at least he was THE champion. JBL responded by saying that Punk could either go home, knowing his title win was nothing more than an asterisk, or he could prove himself against JBL in a title match. Punk asked JBL if he really wanted to "be the first one", and JBL responded yes. Punk said ok, and the match was on.

John Cena came out the next segment to a big cheer, and said that he couldn't believe JBL bullied his way into a title match. Cena then said that he liked Punk because he was a fighter, but he also believed that Punk would've said yes to anybody. He then openly asked Punk that, if he had the option to wrestle JBL or Cena, who would he choose?

JBL then came out, drawing some major heat from the crowd. JBL said that Cena wouldn't get the opportunity to fight Punk for the championship, because JBL was declaring Marshall Law that night. He said that he was going to become champion tonight, and he couldn't have Cena in the building to mess things up. Six big security guards came out, and JBL told them to remove Cena from the arena. After Cena put up whatever fight he could, JBL's security team dragged Cena out of the building.

Ted Debiase Jr. and Cody Rhodes, fresh off their betrayal of Hardcore Holly, had a squash match against some young tag-team duo whose names I can't remember. After the match, they said that, because of all the talent they had, they deserved whatever they wanted, and that they were, ugh, absolutely priceless. These guys may have all the talent they said they have, but they get, literally, no reaction from the crowd. It's a joke these guys are the tag-team champions, because nobody gives a fuck.

The next match of the night was Chris Jericho's rematch against Kofi Kingston for the Intercontinental Championship. Back-and-fourth the two went, each seemingly countering the other's moves. It all led to a sequence where Kofi first rolled up Y2J and pulled on his tights. The ref didn't see it, but Y2J kicked out anyways. Jericho then rolled Kingston up, and blatantly pulled on Kingston's tights to try and pin him illegally. Unfortunately for Y2J, the ref caught him and DQ'ed him for his actions, meaning that Kingston retained his Intercontinental title. Being the heel he was, he bitterly gauged at Kingston's eyes after the bell rung, and the crowd responded with some boos.

The main event, a title match between JBL and the champion CM Punk, was underway, with JBL's personal security team surrounding the ring. The two wrestlers exchanged blows to start out, JBL using his power and Punk using his trademark kicks, but JBL eventually seized control of the match with a headlock. Punk got out of the headlock with a crisp arm drag, and followed that up with a few leg kicks. He got JBL out of the ring and went for a baseball slide. He missed though, and JBL then hit Punk with an excellent clothesline. The action went back into the ring, and JBL locked up Punk in yet another headlock. He then threw Punk into the turnbuckle and charged at him, only to have Punk's boot connect with his face. Punk connected with his trademark knee in the face as JBL stood against the opposite turnbuckle, then clotheslined the challenger afterwards. JBL attempted to counter with a clotheline, but Punk dodged it and hit JBL with a kick to the head, then a flying clothesline after bouncing off the top rope.

Cena and Cryme Time then showed up on the ramp, and began to kick the crap out of JBL's security in an attempt to even the odds for Punk. JBL got distracted by the commotion outside of the ring, and when he turned around to face Punk, he got GTS'ed and that was that. Punk retained his title, and the crowd was going nuts.

Huh...

So I'm balding... damn.

WWE 2008 Draft Results: RAW Gets a Raw Deal

First, the results (italic selections are from the online supplemental draft held two days after the live draft on RAW):

Drafted to RAW:

• CM Punk
• Kane
• Batista
• Rey Mysterio
• Michael Cole
• Kofi Kingston
• Layla
• Matt Striker
• Chuck Palumbo
• Deuce
• Jamie Noble
  

Drafted to Smackdown!:

• Jeff Hardy
• Jim Ross
• Mr. Kennedy
• Umaga
• Triple H
• Carlito
• Shelton Benjamin
• Maria
• Brian Kendrick
• D.H. Smith
• Big Daddy V

Drafted to ECW:

• Matt Hardy
• Mark Henry
• Finlay
• Hornswaggle
• Super Crazy

And now, the review...

Aside from the very first pick, the first couple selections didn't do much for me, as none of them were true shockers.

Batista going to RAW? Great, but also obvious. Jeff Hardy to Smackdown? Of course they were moving him there; they needed somebody the fans could connect with on that show to get it headed in the right direction again. CM Punk to RAW and Umaga to Smackdown, like the Batista selection, were also both pretty much stone-cold locks. But things got interesting afterwards...

Kane going to RAW was a BIG surprise since, after all, he is the ECW champion.

Good ol' JR trading seats with Michael Cole was another nice surprise. It didn't even look like JR, one veteran employee you'd think they'd inform beforehand about getting moved, knew about the selection. It didn't stop there though.


Mr. Kennedy, one of the "blue-chippers" of the WWE, got drafted to Smackdown. Not even five seconds later, Triple H was ALSO drafted to Smackdown.

So what does this mean for the WWE? Well, they are obviously putting a helluva effort into transforming Smackdown, the most disappointing of the three brands, into an equivalent, if not better brand than RAW. The timing isn't sheer coincidence either, as Smackdown is soon making the move to MyNetworkTV (a better network for their target audience).

But I'm starting to wonder if the WWE put too many eggs into Smackdown's basket and now left RAW with a raw deal (harty harrr harr)... My brother, who is just a big a fan of the WWE as I am, said he'd now just watch Smackdown, and never watch RAW again.

If you take a look at the changes, you can't really blame him. Three big-time fan favorites - including his favorite, Mr. Kennedy - are moving to Smackdown (Hardy, Kennedy, HHH), while only one mega-star is moving over to RAW (Batista). Rey Mysterio, another one of Raw's selections, is far too much of an injury-risk to consider the draft as having even been even close to equal for the two main brands, since he tends to spend more time on crutches than he does in the ring. And even if he does stay healthy, he can't possibly be in the picture for a heavyweight title the way HHH and Kennedy will be on Smackdown because of all the more-prominent wrestlers ahead of him. CM Punk, I will admit though, is a wrestler on the cusp of super-stardom, but even he is not quite over with the fans yet.

Besides what I now see as too much talent on Smackdown, I didn't have any other problems. I'm actually now craving the possibilities of the endless number of potential new rivalries: Batista-Cena, Edge-HHH, Edge-Jeff Hardy, Orton-Batista, Mysterio-CM Punk, CM Punk-Cena, Kennedy-HHH, Kennedy-Hardy, Kennedy-Edge, Batista-Y2J, Mysterio-Cena... I really could go on-and-on.

Hopefully the writers will pluck some showdowns out of that list and give us even more bang for our buck!

* * * * *

BTW, regarding the "accident" Vince McMahon has, I hope it turns into a whodunit situation. They better not eff it up though, and give us some lame ending the way they did the last time McMahon had a significant storyline (his son being Hornswaggle).

Till Monday...

I'm (finally!) going to Atlantic City for the first time this summer. You guys have a good weekend.

Monday Night RAW Review-6/23/08

Considering the RAW draft this past Monday was so hyped by both the WWE and yours truly, one would think that I'd have something to say about it in the day or two after it aired... right? Well, a review is coming, albeit late, but it is coming. Like I've said before, this month has been hella crazy, and it'll remain that way until July, the month I'll finally be free from the hell that is fiscal year-end closeout.

(BTW, how did my usage of the word "hella" in that last sentence sound? Did it read well? Or did I come off as a total douche? I'm having many internal debates with myself regarding whether or not I can pull that word off... I'm leaning towards not using it, but I thought I'd try it here and gauge the reaction.)

Anyways, sorry for that tangent... where were we? Oh yes, a lengthy review is coming, probably one that'll overshadow any other post I've had length-wise. After all, epic moments beget an epic post, and I'll get that done for you guys between now and the next RAW.

In the meantime, make sure you check out the new-and-improved Smackdown tomorrow evening. The show's new, fan-friendly roster makes it a lock that Smackdown will no longer be tagged as the "runner-up brand" that most fans have labeled it.

WWE Draft Predictions...

The WWE is absolutely, positively desperate for ratings... they'll do anything to get more viewers, including giving away a million dollars a week to fans all over the country. To some degree, the giveaway has worked after an initial setback, as the ratings for last week's Monday Night RAW went up from 3.0 the previous week to a decent 3.3. Although they did get that bump, it wasn't the big bump they were looking for... which brings us to tonight's WWE draft.

Expect HUGE roster moves, because, as I mentioned a second ago, the WWE's ratings have slowly dipped as have their stock. Some of the following heavyweights, John Cena, Triple H, Randy Orton, Umaga, Batista, and Edge, could get moved from one WWE brand to the other. From that bunch, I'm predicting Batista, Umaga, and either Cena or Triple H will be moving, as they've all worn out their rivalries from their current brand.

I'm also expecting some prominent light-heavyweights, specifically the Jeff Hardys or the MVPs of the WWE, along with a few others, to be moved. Most of this type of lower-end heavyweight talent should be merged into one show, thus, helping each of them get a significant push towards the top.

I'd personally love to see most of the best tag-team talent moved onto one brand or the other. The tag-team titles have been stagnant since the Hardys, Team 3D, and the Edge/Cristian combos all broke up. Nowadays the tag-team champions draw little reaction from the crowd, so one step towards getting the WWE back on the map would be to merge each brand's tag-team championships into one title, then have all the talent follow wherever those belts will be featured. Back with the TLC matches!

Of what I've heard so far, only Triple H (surprise!), Shawn Michaels, and Batista have firmly opposed switching brands. Hopefully at least two of these guys put their own selfish insecurities aside and budge for the good of the company's future. Too many wrestlers these days are thinking short term, just like Vince McMahon, and they're cock-blocking the fans from getting to see some great new rivalries/talent.

All-in-all, the draft should be fun to watch. The million-dollar segments, however, won't. The WWE needs to get back to what it used to best, and that's cutting great promos (MVP/Mr. Kennedy come to mind) and putting together crowd-friendly, entertaining matches. If they can't get back to that long-forgotten formula, the WWE can kiss even their average TV ratings goodbye.

Good One...

So I saw The Hulk just recently. The movie, as I expected, was JUST like Iron Man... superhero seemingly pwns the bad guys to start out, but then the bad guys come back with a bigger, badder version of the good guy, resulting in an epic clash towards the end. That's not a bad thing though, especially not if the cast fits the script (which, for the most part, happened in this movie). Anyways, I'm not here to give you a review of the movie, since the box office indicates that you've likely seen it anyways... I'm here to give you my "good one".

Two-thirds of the way through the movie, a character saw the destructive force Ed Norton could be for his first time. He commented, "You've got a little something in ya don't ya?" I instantly turned to my friend and said,

"That's what she said."

*Bowing* Thank you. Thank you.

I think I need some help...

Wrestling and...?

Yea, it's been eight posts since I've mentioned the word poker, let alone discussed it. So here we go, here is my poker-related blurb for the day:

One of my really good friends is in Vegas, and I'm as jealous as can be. Earlier today during my lunch break, him and I were talking about a drunk donkey he busted at one of his tables. Before I knew it, I was salivating all over myself. I was even so preoccupied with the drunk donkey topic that I spilled some of my drink on my white shirt and stained it. Derrrrrrrrp.

Just a few hours after having that conversation, I asked another friend of mine if he wanted to go to Atlantic City this weekend... you know... just because. He just gave me a maybe, as he may have to go somewhere else instead. But, I asked him, "Would you go with me if those plans didn't materialize?"

"Yes".

So, for now, the salivating has subsided. But at least all the drool from before wiped out that damn stain.

Monday Night RAW Review - 6/16/08

You'll have to forgive me this week, but I won't be able to write my own Monday Night RAW review today. I'm crazy busy this month here at work, as my company's books close for this fiscal year come end of June. So instead of my usual RAW review, I've copied and pasted a RAW review from another site. From what I can tell, it's pretty solid... Enjoy!


Out comes John Cena to begin the show. Cena receives a large ovation as the opening wrestler. John is fired up for his time to talk. He speaks about the history of the wwe and the moments that have occurred in the past. Hulk Hogan slamming Andre the Giant, Shawn Michaels boyhood dream coming true, and Stonecold opening up his first can of whoop-ass. He states that at night of champions there will be another moment when one man stands tall in the center of the ring with his hand raised in victory and says THE CHAMP IS HEEEE…. Triple H’s music cuts him off before he finishes it. Behold the King…The king of kings. Triple H makes his way down the ramp. JR says by golly the wwe champion is here. Triple H tells Cena He is right it will be a moment no one will forget and he has been trying to tell himself it is not personal but is having trouble. Last week Cena cost him the match with Jeff hardy and he is laying out a warning and he won’t be warned twice. If Cena gets in HHH face and in his business it will get real personal real fast. Cena says wait a second you seem to have no trouble knocking me off the announcer table last week. HHH “First of all john no one said that you should stand on the table and act like a prima donna. I did you a favor because you are so uncoordinated you would have probably fallen off the damn thing anyway.” Cena, “ haha laugh at the big dumb animal but the last time you were in the ring with me I made you tap.” HHH,” That was two years ago John and a lot has changed.” Cena “ whoa whoa whoa nothing has changed two years ago everyone was talking about HHH and John Cena and here we are today still the main attraction in this business.” HHH, “NO something has changed and now I am the WWE Champion.” Cena, “ Even with that’ championship it still don’t mean a damn thing because until you beat me you don’t’ amount to anything Look at ya you walk around on your high horse calling yourself the measuring stick until you beat me you’re nothing.” HHH “ you know john it is going to be a long tough night for you that night cuz I know how you hate to disappoint your fans…but on the plus side not many of your fans will get to see that match because it will probably be on past their bedtimes anyway.” Just to make things easier for ya maybe we could get you a foam belt to wear around to ease the pain for ya a little bit.” Cena pushes HHH and takes off the shirt. HHH throws his shirt drops the belt and McMahon’s’ money money money theme hits. McMahon states the two of them they will not fight tonight they will fight at night of champions. He talks about the million dollars given away stating the password is…. watch raw and win. He tasks Cena if he will win his match tonight one on one with the Samoan bulldozer Umaga and it is a street fight. This match starts now.

John Cena vs. Umaga () Street fight)

JR introduces the Samoan bulldozer the three hundred and fifty pounder. They talk about the draft and who will be left on the raw roster.

Cena attacks right away but gets caught with an uppercut. Umaga counters the sunset flip to no avail. Cena takes Umaga up for the slam but Umaga falls across his chest. Cena rolls to the apron. Umaga charges and launches Cena off the apron into the guardrail as we go to a commercial.

I love the big show commercial for In Plain Sight. H e seems so real handing her that chair.

Back on raw the two are up the ramp in the3 street fight. Lots of rights and lefts and soup bones being thrown until Cena charges and gets hit with a Samoan drop on the Steele. (Looked like it hurt something awful) Umaga drags Cena back up the ramp by one arm. Umaga sits Cena against the ring post as he backs away..Oh no. Cena moves and Umaga goes back first into the ring post. Cena grabs a mic and we are back in the ring. Mic off the face of Umaga Cena comes off the top with a cross body and Umaga catches him with the spinning sambo slam. Umaga receives the first two count. Cena gets the boot up in the corner but runs out into a massive clothesline from Umaga. Umaga has dominated the match thus far. Cena gets a reversal but is easily met with another reversal from Umaga. Umaga grabs a Steele chair from ringside. Cena grabs the chair and a shot to umaga’s ribs and hits the flashback and the leg drop to the back of the head off the top. Cena looking FU but falls face first as his legs shake and buckle under the pressure. The damage was too much for Cena to hold Umaga long enough. Umaga takes Cena into the Steele steps and they almost fly in to the crowd haha that’s a great parting gift for a fan. Umaga rolls Cena into the ring and gets another two count. Jr speaks of Cena perseverance. Umaga chunks the Steele steps into the ring. Umaga has the steps up high but Cena catches Umaga with the FU!!! Into the three count. I don’t’ remember the last match that Umaga actually won. I hope he gets traded to smackdown where he can actually win sometimes. I also hope that he learns a language soon.

McMahon is out and is picking the first winner. JR says blame it on the river referring to salt LAKE haha. The first guy is Denzel or D oh my goodness says Dee gets the right password and says his favorite animal is a dog. Dee’s impression of a dog is terrible it sounded like he was sneezing but he won 125,000 dollars wow. I was hoping my phone would ring.

Vince introduces summertime bikini blowout.

Bikini blowout

Maria out followed by Eve Torres and a commercial

A draft commercial is shown and I think JR is right about the announcers being included in the draft. That’s is just plain silly

Back on Raw the ladies are in the ring with Charlie Haas. They show the recap of last Monday and I don’t understand why Charlie Haas is not a fan of kissing divas. Haas is talking about something I didn’t know that he still worked for them until last week. I guess Mcing the bikini contest is better than not being on raw. The first contestant is Melina…they each get 15 seconds to dance. Melina does a pretty good job I guess. Maryse is up next to dance. Lena Yada is out and has a white bikini and king wants to wear Lena’s bikini.. Layla is out and dances it up . Jillian is next and stops the music to sing a song…. Haas cuts her off and moves to Eve and last is Maria. The winner is too many contestants to tell who is getting the best until Maria who gets more airtime as a face so of course she wins. Jillian had the most heat. Eve slapped Maria on the rear as she celebrated.

McMahon calls someone else. I wonder if Mr. McMahon is thinking of taking ed mcmahon’s job. Mike answers has the password for 100,000. Vince asks whom the most handsome and well-known individual ever born in NC was? Mike answers Ric Flair. Vince says No. I guess he is from North Carolina. Jr confirms my thought because he knows all.



Back on Raw Jericho is backstage talking to some lady. They show a recap of last Monday’s highlight reel. Jericho and Shawn will have a fantastic match when it comes down to it. Jericho dominated Shawn with that Jeritron and the recap footage was awesome. Jericho will speak tonight.

McMahon is choosing another winner with a very special individual…Hacksaw Jim Duggan in a tux and his 2X4 is in a tux. USA chants started by Duggan. Hacksaw doesn’t know how to use a phone haha. HO!!!!!! No one answered McMahon Leaves a message telling him he had a chance to win 50,000.Thhisy ritoe is Degeneration X. aweoom. Jesse answers and knows the password. 50,00 richer. Jesse is hardcore DX and imitates Duggan with the HO!!.

Jeff hardy makes his way to the ring. Coming off of a big win over HHH last week lets see how he holds up tonight.


Jeff Hardy vs. Carlito

The two lock up to start things off and a cheap shot from Carlito to receive the first upper hand. Carlito goes for the second rope slingshot moonsault and lands on his feet after missing hardy. Hardy tosses Carlito over the top and slingshots crossbody over the top to the floor. Hardy is caught on the apron on the way in and is hung on the top rope and Carlito hits a swinging neck breaker. Good spot. Carlito with a drop kick and gets a two count. Carlito still in control and applies a chin lock. The crowd is behind hardy as he tries to elbow out. Carlito pulls the hair to stop the reversal and hits several southpaw punches to the head of hardy followed by a running reverse elbow. Now Carlito has hardy in a surfboard submission. Hardy feeling the crowd and gets a boot to hardy with the reverse mule kick and goes for the big seated dropkick in the corner but Carlito dodges. Hardy crashes and Carlito gets a two count. Hardy hits the seated Jawbreaker. But Carlito gets the upper hand with a tree of woe he goes for a dropkick but hardy raises Carlito barely misses crotching the ring post and gives a hail Mary for good measure to thank his lucky stars. Good improve for Carlito. Hardy up top hits the whisper in the wind for a two count. Front face suplex from hardy and up top for the Swanton bomb. Carlito up and goes back stabber but gets caught with the twist of fate and hits the Swanton bomb for the three count.

Excellent match from these two Carlito does so well to not ever win. He should start a tag team with Umaga.

McMahon money time. The call is placed Kyle answers the phone. Kyle gets the password. Kyle has to sing part of the national anthem terribly I would have actually requested Jillian. 175000 dollars.

Y2J makes his way to the ring He has some splaining to do. Over the last week Jericho says he has noticed the way people are looking at him differently and asking how could you do that to Shawn Michaels. Recap shown again of Y2J last week. Jericho states it is Déjà Voo as the crowd boos an honest man. Jericho says it wasn’t his fault (my god this isn’t Jericho it’s Snitsky!). Jericho says that the people don’t’ deserve to be saved because they connect with a backstabbing hypocrite like Michaels. Jericho is here to save himself from every one of us. He goes on to bring down the crowd and states he doesn’t need or want cheers anymore. Some big girl in a cowboy hat bo0os and thumb downs Jericho. It was pretty funny she had on a cowboy hat haha. Jericho says Michael’s blood is in our hands. Jericho calls Shawn Michaels out right now. The crowd chants HBK. Shawn isn’t coming out tonight because he is a coward, worm, liar, and a miserable excuse…..WOOOOOO Natch is BACK styling and profiling. My god!! JR just wet himself!!

Commercial

Flair and Jericho are in the ring nose to nose. Flair asks what Jericho has to say now. Flair tells Jericho to shut up. Flair says he can’t wrestle anymore but challenges Jericho to a fight in the parking lot right now. Drops the elbow on the coat and leaves the ring telling Jericho to come on (you can tell when Flair means business because he punishes his wardrobe). Jericho follows flair out the back. We lost the duo with the cameras. Flair says outside you and me outside right now Jericho follows and runs into the game outside the door. HHH says don’t you think you've caused enough problems ever since you have come back to save us Chris I’ve been looking for a reason to make you my business. Jericho says now you got to fight everyone’s battles for them. HHH says I’m not fighting anyone’s battles I just want to fight Chris Jericho.

Commercial

Flair and HHH are in the back. Flair is talking to McMahon as they shake hands. Vince tells flair that he cannot have him in the building interrupting the show. HHH gives flair a hug as he is escorted out of the building. HHH asks Vince what his problem is. Vince says he has none but HHH does he is going one on one tonight with Chris Jericho.

Holly and Rhodes are in the ring and out come Crime Time.

Holly and Rhodes vs. Crime Time

TD makes his way to the ring and distracts crime time as holly gets the rollup for the three count. Quickest match ever. I’m sure the return of Michael PS I’m a racist Hayes had nothing to do with this booking.

McMoney time again Becky answers the phone in honor of Flair he is giving her 16 dollars poor girl. That’s what you get for being from North Carolina.

Commercial



Recap of Burchill and Kennedy match from last week.


Burchill and Katie are in the ring and out comes Mickie James the women’s champion. Kennedy! Kennedy is going to be huge he Is more popular by the day and becomes a better wrestler minute by minute.

Mr. Kennedy and Mickie James vs. Paul Burchill and Katie Lee

Burchill and Kennedy start by locking up the rights come immediately. Burchill works Kennedy with clotheslines and uppercuts but is caught with a back body drop. Kennedy has Burchill in the corner and the ref has to push him out. Burchill receives the upper hand and puts Kennedy in a cross face chicken wing. Kennedy attempts to fight out but is leveled with a powerful clothesline for a two count. Back into the submission cross face chicken wing. Both girls are cheering their man on. Kennedy begins to fight out until he catches a knee to the temple. Irish whip into the corner and Kennedy gets two boots up and catches Burchill with the big boot kick as Paul is leaned on the ropes. Katie tags herself in and Mickie comes in with a slap The two girls roll around exchanging punches and Mickie finally gets the upper hand with a couple of clotheslines and forearms and the Irish whip is reversed into the neck breaker and Mickie connects with a dropkick to the face for a two count. James heads up top as Paul makes his way towards her. Kennedy comes flying across the ring and hits a spear through the ropes as both men fly out of the ring. Very impressive move. Mickie comes off the top but Katie moves and hits a neck breaker into a backbreaker for the three count.

McMoney time again. Elaina answers the phone and knows the password. She does not stop talking at all. McMahon asks of all the superstars who is the most handsome man she answers with Mr. McMahon 174,984 for Alana.




McMoney once again we are calling someone up and it isn’t me because my phone is ringing. Jr is whispering the password hahahaha. Peter answers. He knows the password and becomes 75000. JR and king are running down Night of Champions

Miz and Morrison against Finlay and Hornswaggle tag gold

Edge vs. Batista Heavyweight champion

Kane vs. Big Show ECW Title

HHH vs. John Cena WWE Title



King just informed that McMahon would give away 300,00000 tonight

Cena tells HHH good luck don’t get hurt.

Champion vs. Champion after the break

McMoney time again! Yowsa
McMahons giving money away again next week. Number dialed and Frank answers he knows the password 30,000


HHH vs. Y2J

The Game vs. The Living Legend

The Cerebral Assassin vs. The Ayatollah of Rock N Rollah

The King of Kings vs. The Sexy Beast

Hunter Hurst Helmsley vs. Chris Jericho

The WWE Champion vs. The Intercontinental Champion

Ladies and Gentlemen business is about to pick up.
The ref lays out the rules and rings the bell. Lock up into a side headlock and a big running shoulder block by the game. Jericho is holding his head. Jericho sucks chants fill the arena. Jericho takes the upper hand in the corner with boots and rights and lefts and the ref has to force Jericho out. The game comes back with rights inn the corner for Jericho. Jericho face first into the turnbuckle and is Irish whipped into a back body drop. Jericho comes back with more rights and an Irish whip to the ring post as we go to commercial.

Jericho comes back with a reverse elbow to stop the game as we come back. During the break Jericho hit an enziguri to receive the upper hand. Jericho attacks the game outside using the Steele steps to his advantage. Jericho slaps the back of H’s head telling him to come on. They head back into the ring as the match continues the Game regains the upper hand. Lance Cade enters the ring to attack HHH (talk about a curveball). Jericho is disqualified for his interference as the two begin to pummel the game. Cena runs out to try and make the save for the game. Cena tries to overcome but is out numbered two on one. As the two continue the beating Cade hits the Cade bomb on Cena while Y2J delivers the code breaker to HHH. The evil duo stand tall over the fallen heroes as Raw goes off the air. (I am guessing that next week John Cena and Triple H team to take on the new duo of Jericho and Cade can Cena and H overcome their differences for one night to focus on the task at hand or will Cade and Jericho be able to capitalize on the two giant egos not being able to coexist.)

See you next week for the Draft!!!
Its time to shake things up.

Music

After ordering a 160gb IPod off of Full Tilt Poker with my Full Tilt points, I've been looking to pick up some new music to give a listen to after getting tired of my current collection (which mostly consisted of rap, r&b, and VERY mainstream rock).

So I asked a friend to turn me onto a few bands, and he gave me the following list:

- Pink Floyd
- The Cardigans
- Black Sabbath
- Nirvana
- some other band I can't remember at the moment

Ended up loving two of those bands: The Cardigans and Nirvana. One of those bands, Nirvana, turned me onto Pearl Jam, who's music I also really like. And so began my love affair with oldish, not-as-mainstream rock.

I look forward to discovering new bands that I'm sure you've heard of, but I haven't. Now I won't give you one of those lame, here's-what's-on-my-IPod posts, but I will probably bring up some bands I enjoy listening to in the near future.

PS - the following links have been my favorite tracks thusfar through my musical "journey":

http://youtube.com/watch?v=SK7Ai9dWrRQ

http://youtube.com/watch?v=KCgFYz7VX74

http://youtube.com/watch?v=BXISm3JjYU0&feature=related

http://youtube.com/watch?v=sUUHNf0S5cA&feature=related

http://youtube.com/watch?v=rg-yYi8saZY&feature=related

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all of you who are lucky enough to have your old man around, and also to those who are lucky enough to have children of your own.

Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan

BTW, did ya Kobe-lovers happen to catch the game last night? Did ya? Did ya?

Kobe is not even close to Jordan after seeing yesterday's debacle... and no, I'm not being biased just because I'm a Bulls fan. In fact, I'm a huge Kobe lover, and I agree that he is by far the best player on the planet right now... but the Jordan comparisons need. to. stop!

Million Dollar Bust

On RAW earlier this week, Vince McMahon's Million Dollar Mania didn't draw the ratings the WWE expected. In fact, the ratings had FALLEN from the previous episode of RAW. The segments for this giveaway where Vince called the eventual winners were not entertaining, and I even read that people at the stadium chanted "BORRRRRRING!" a few times (one of those chants were actually heard on TV).

It is now rumored that, although Vince will give away another million dollars at this week's RAW, he is unlikely to continue afterwards because of the lackluster ratings.

As for the rest of the show:

Mr. Kennedy defeated Paul Burchill in the opening match. The fight was pretty crisp, and the ending was, ummm, crispier (???) when Mr. Kennedy "Mic Checked" Burchill. After the match, Burchill cheap-shotted Kennedy.

I don't know what to say about this story line. The writers really got screwed when Regal was busted for some kind of positive drug test, as Regal and the disdain the fans had for him would have been able to put Kennedy over during their rivalry as one of the top faces in the industry. Now they're lost with their star-in-the-making, as even THEY don't know what's happening and who is going where at the WWE Draft in two weeks. Hopefully the Burchill-Kennedy feud will be short-lived.

JBL and John Cena, yet again, got it on in the ring. The crowd was very pro-Cena, a rarity these days, and Cena finished the match with a win after stringing together a few signature moves.

I have nothing to say regarding these two clashing again. The announcers tried to bill it like some kind of pay-per-view-worthy, battle of the titans-esque match, but it really was a snoozer of a match till the end. My thoughts: these guys both need to go to Smackdown come draft day for new competition.

Chris Jericho, hosting another "episode" of his talk show "The Highlight Reel", finally managed to turn heel after two months of 'Is He-Isn't He?' crap. He first kicked Shawn Michaels in the nuts while interviewing him in the ring. Jericho then smashed Michaels' face into the TV to end the segment, and I have read that Michaels seriously hurt his eye during that stunt.

I'm legitimately excited for potential fights between these two, as they are both among the most entertaining wrestlers in the WWE. Should be a helluva rivalry.

Umaga and Snitsky defeated Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes. The only thing I feel I need to chime in about is that Holly/Rhodes don't seem to get a big enough pop when they come out. I think people are getting bored with them, and I bet we soon see them drop their titles to Ted DeBiase Jr. and whoever that guy chooses as his partner.

Santino Morella and Carlito defeated Cryme Tyme. No comment... not worth it.

... And finally, the main event of the night: Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy. Triple H often had the upper-hand in the match, but occasionally Hardy fought back and countered with some of his own signature stuff. The intense fight continued outside of the ring. Hardy eventually helped himself up, got in the ring, and beat the 10-count of the ref. Triple H, however, didn't get in the ring on time, as John Cena, Triple H's opponent at the next PPV, pulled him back right as he was going to get back in the ring. Hardy, thus, picked up the win, and he then went over the top rope and took down both Triple H and Cena as they got in each others' faces. All-in-all, a very entertaining main event!

* * * * *

The show, for the most part, wasn't bad. A new rivalry emerged between Michaels and Jericho, while Triple H and Cena tossed more fuel on their flames. Jeff Hardy even notched himself a big main event win, and hopefully that's just the first of many.

Other than those guys, the writers are wisely waiting out the results for the draft, for if they took any big chances now, it could all be erased with one selection on June 23rd. Aside from the paragraph above, I expect everything else to be pretty stale. But, and that's a big but, when the draft happens, expect mayhem to ensue. The WWE is desparate for ratings, and they will probably take some big chances to get them.